• Our Intellectual Journey to Entering the Swinger and Hotwife Lifestyles

    When we originally had the urge to explore alternative sexual activities, a lot of emotions arose that we had to get a wrangle on. It would seem that most people encounter feelings of curiosity, jealousy, shame, excitement, and even fear when they begin their journey into opening their sexual lives. These would, to most people, seem like normal reactions to the idea. After all, most of us have spent years being told to conform to the moral and behavioral norms of monogamy reinforced by everything from religion to the tax code.

    Overcoming these emotions is a necessary yet daunting hurdle to experiencing the benefits of non-monogamy and doing so is no easy feat. For us (or more specifically, Jonathan), part of processing and understanding these emotions was to take a more objective and intellectual view of sex, love, jealousy, marriage, and human relationships. This post details some of the intellectual resources and thoughts that we used to get a handle on the new ideas and feelings we had entering the swinger and hotwife lifestyles.

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  • Kanban in the Bedroom: A Better Sex Life Through Organization

    Kanban is a methodology that focuses on process efficiencies in manufacturing. Some know it better as the “Toyota Production System” made famous by Taiichi Ohno. The basic idea is that you can gain efficiencies through a pull system that is organized by cards or other visual markers to control the flow of work in a system. While having its roots in manufacturing, the system has seen wide adoption in software engineering and is considered by many to be a very good system to aid in getting projects completed efficiently with the least amount of stress on workers.

    Well, that’s great but what does that have to do with sex? In our humble opinion, a lot! Americans are not having as much sex as they used to despite the significant positive physical and emotional benefits it offers. Take a gander at the subreddit /r/deadbedrooms which has over 203k subscribers, to get an idea of bad the situation is. We know anecdotally that sex generally dies down the longer the relationship lasts. The limerence just dies away for most people and that, as far as the researchers tell us, is quite normal. But to the sexually minded, there seems to more to the problem:

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  • Mina’s Boyfriend…and His Roommate

    This story is fictional but would be very enticing if it were real 😉

    Mina has a boyfriend named Josh. They have been seeing each other for about a year now. Their evenings typically consist of going out on a date then back to Mina and Jonathan’s place for sex. Sometimes Jonathan watches, sometimes he participates, and sometimes they just use the guest bedroom and close the door. See, Josh lives with a roommate which makes playtime at his place a little more difficult. They have done it on occasion but those times are pretty rare.

    One night, Mina was feeling a little anxious. She decided to text Josh to see if he’d like her to come over for the night. He responds that his roommate is home and that they really can’t play like they otherwise would. Mina thinks about it for a bit but is very much in the mood for time with Josh and she decides to go over there anyway, even if just to hang out and tease him a little bit. So she jumps in the shower to get clean. While in the shower, she cleanly shaves her pussy and legs. She wants to be super clean for her fuck buddy. After the shower, she goes into the closet to get dressed. She’s in a purely slutty mood and wants a dress that says exactly that. She decides on a short black dress with a low cut top and hemline that rides a number of inches above her knees. She goes to grab panties but stops herself. No, she won’t be needing them…nor a bra. She finishes getting dressed and gets downstairs where she picks out a classy pair of heels. She turns to Jonathan on her way out and says, “I’ll be back, well fucked and satisfied…wait up if you want some of me.”

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  • Our Camping Trip

    This is an original fictional story.

    Mina and Jonathan decide to go on a camping trip in late Spring before the AZ Summer heat starts to really hit. They don’t typically camp much so they are a little new to the experience but are eager to get away from the kids and reconnect in the peaceful outdoors. Jonathan used to fish a lot in his youth and was hoping to get in some reel time. They end up picking a spot about two hours North of Phoenix just outside of Flagstaff next to a small lake.

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  • Mina’s Tummy Tuck

    “Ok, hold on a minute, you just got done talking about how we should be ourselves and that it’s all about attitude and confidence and now you’re going to talk about how Mina got a tummy tuck? Are you kidding me?”

    Yes, that’s right. We wanted to share Mina’s story about why she got a tummy tuck and show before and after photos, as unglamorous as they might be, in hope that it will help others to either be perfectly fine with how they are or give some comfort to those who might want to make small or maybe bigger changes to get a little confidence back.

    After Mina had two children, she, like most women, had changes to her body that were less than ideal. Weight was one thing but no matter the diet or how much exercise, her tummy would hardly ever change! Her boobs came and went. Her ass came and went. But her tummy was almost always the same no matter what. She lived with it for about 11 years (and another child) until, over the course of a few conversations with Jonathan, the topic of liposuction was considered.

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  • Body Image and Penis Size in the Swinger Lifestyle

    We see it all the time in posts to Reddit and other lifestyle forums:

    • Am I hot enough to be a swinger?
    • I’m a BBW, will I get any action?
    • We are 55+, and have trouble attracting partners.
    • I was rejected because my penis is too small…and I’m average size.

    Body image is a tough enough issue in everyday life but dealing with it in the lifestyle is another beast entirely. As with vanilla life, media and marketing are some of the biggest problems here. From swinger sites and profiles to lifestyle takeover advertisements to house party digital flyers, they all seem to show only the most attractive among us. Take a look at this screenshot from Kasidie’s Parties list:

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  • The Struggles of Finding Quality Single Men In the Lifestyle

    This post may be a little ranty so you have been warned.

    One of the most interesting paradoxes of the hotwife lifestyle is the search for single males. Objectively speaking, this really shouldn’t be a problem, and personal standards notwithstanding, it isn’t. There are plenty of guys out there willing to meet up at almost any location to get some free pussy. However, most couples have at least a modicum of decency standards and some that we have seen, ourselves included, have rather high standards stemming from a multitude of perspectives like looks, personality, attitude, hygiene, profession, education, penis size, etc.

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