• Our Intellectual Journey to Entering the Swinger and Hotwife Lifestyles

    When we originally had the urge to explore alternative sexual activities, a lot of emotions arose that we had to get a wrangle on. It would seem that most people encounter feelings of curiosity, jealousy, shame, excitement, and even fear when they begin their journey into opening their sexual lives. These would, to most people, seem like normal reactions to the idea. After all, most of us have spent years being told to conform to the moral and behavioral norms of monogamy reinforced by everything from religion to the tax code.

    Overcoming these emotions is a necessary yet daunting hurdle to experiencing the benefits of non-monogamy and doing so is no easy feat. For us (or more specifically, Jonathan), part of processing and understanding these emotions was to take a more objective and intellectual view of sex, love, jealousy, marriage, and human relationships. This post details some of the intellectual resources and thoughts that we used to get a handle on the new ideas and feelings we had entering the swinger and hotwife lifestyles.

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  • Kanban in the Bedroom: A Better Sex Life Through Organization

    Kanban is a methodology that focuses on process efficiencies in manufacturing. Some know it better as the “Toyota Production System” made famous by Taiichi Ohno. The basic idea is that you can gain efficiencies through a pull system that is organized by cards or other visual markers to control the flow of work in a system. While having its roots in manufacturing, the system has seen wide adoption in software engineering and is considered by many to be a very good system to aid in getting projects completed efficiently with the least amount of stress on workers.

    Well, that’s great but what does that have to do with sex? In our humble opinion, a lot! Americans are not having as much sex as they used to despite the significant positive physical and emotional benefits it offers. Take a gander at the subreddit /r/deadbedrooms which has over 203k subscribers, to get an idea of bad the situation is. We know anecdotally that sex generally dies down the longer the relationship lasts. The limerence just dies away for most people and that, as far as the researchers tell us, is quite normal. But to the sexually minded, there seems to more to the problem:

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  • Body Image and Penis Size in the Swinger Lifestyle

    We see it all the time in posts to Reddit and other lifestyle forums:

    • Am I hot enough to be a swinger?
    • I’m a BBW, will I get any action?
    • We are 55+, and have trouble attracting partners.
    • I was rejected because my penis is too small…and I’m average size.

    Body image is a tough enough issue in everyday life but dealing with it in the lifestyle is another beast entirely. As with vanilla life, media and marketing are some of the biggest problems here. From swinger sites and profiles to lifestyle takeover advertisements to house party digital flyers, they all seem to show only the most attractive among us. Take a look at this screenshot from Kasidie’s Parties list:

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